What to do when your partner is pregnant

A practical checklist for partners, trimester by trimester: appointments, the hospital bag, the big conversations, and when to call for help.

A practical checklist for the partner, trimester by trimester — the things that actually help, and the ones that are easy to forget.

There's no script for this. Most of what helps is ordinary: taking things off your partner's plate before being asked, being there for the appointments you can make, and having the big conversations early rather than in week 39.

Nothing here is medical advice — your partner's midwife or doctor is the one to ask about their pregnancy. This is the other half: the practical, shared work of getting ready.

When to call for help Bleeding, severe tummy pain, or pain in the shoulder — call the midwife or maternity unit, or 999 (your local emergency number) if it's heavy or severe. The baby moving less than usual, or a change in the pattern — call straight away, don't wait until the next day. A severe headache, problems with vision, pain just below the ribs, or sudden swelling of the face, hands or feet — get urgent help. Waters breaking, or signs that labour may be starting — call the maternity unit.

Sources

First trimester (weeks 1–13)

  • Take on more of the cooking, cleaning and shopping — early pregnancy can be exhausting even when nothing shows.
  • Help get the first midwife or doctor appointment booked. On the NHS, the booking appointment is usually between 8 and 12 weeks.
  • Go to the booking appointment and the first scan if you can, and bring your own questions.
  • Agree who you'll tell, when, and in what order.
  • Look up the paternity, partner or parental leave your job offers.
  • Read any screening information together, so you can talk it through. The decisions are your partner's to make, with their midwife or doctor.

Second trimester (weeks 14–27)

  • Start a shopping list and a budget for the big things — pram, cot, car seat — and compare options together.
  • Offer to come to the mid-pregnancy scan (on the NHS, between 18 and 21 weeks) and book the time off.
  • Look into antenatal classes and book one — some fill up early.
  • Start the names list. Suggest the ones you genuinely like.
  • Have the harder conversations: money, work, visitors, who does what in the first weeks.
  • Start on the space where the baby will sleep, and take the heavy lifting.
  • Save the numbers for the midwife and maternity unit in your phone.

Third trimester (weeks 28 onwards)

  • Get to know the baby's pattern of movements with your partner. If movements slow down, stop or change, the NHS advice is to call the midwife or maternity unit straight away.
  • Pack the hospital bag — including your own things — at least three weeks before the due date.
  • Fit the car seat and practise with it.
  • Plan the route to the hospital or birth centre, and who looks after pets or older children.
  • Go through the birth preferences together, so you can speak up for them if your partner wants you to.
  • Cook and freeze meals for the first weeks.
  • Hand over at work so you can leave at short notice, and keep your phone charged and on loud.